Buy the ticket, take the ride

So here is some more information on the cardboard Flat Rate Priority Mail envelop, which I found resting inside my busted-ass screen door Thursday night. I couldn’t open it outside because my arms were full and before I could locate the return address, I caught a glimpse of International Exprès Priority logo, which itself seemed to foreshadow by sort of looking like a Home Plate.


My heart rate hit about 240 bpm: “ohmygodohmygodohmygod.” After I unlocked my door with the envelop in my teeth, I flipped it over and found it — this package was indeed from the Brewers ticket office.


Inside was another, paper envelop with a picture of Prince Fielder on it, looking like a scary hitting robot with rainbow shades and the reflection of Miller Park’s roof arches in his batting helmet.


Inside I find a pocket schedule, a season ticket holder handbook, a sheet of coupons for Brewers gear at stadium fanshops, a sheet of coupons for 10 percent off a non-gameday purchases at Friday’s Front Row, two schedules for the UW-Milwaukee baseball team and, most importantly, two tickets to 20 Milwaukee Brewers home games.

There is also a memo, To: Fan’s Choice Plan Holders, From: Milwaukee Brewers Ticket Sales Office, Re: Seat Locations for Fan’s Choice Plans. It explains increased demand has made it impossible to guarantee the same seats for every game in the 20-game Fan’s Choice Plan (they can still guarantee same-seating for the pre-determined 20-game packs).


Just addressing this information with a big black “MEMO” made me feel all special and insidery. It’s probably not as intense as the feeling Packers shareholders must get — I’m definitely a step short of ownership, and I defer to Mr. Attanasio and his hundreds of millions of dollars. But this memorandum at least makes me feel like a valued customer.

The memo also states, “As you can imagine, a large portion of Fan’s Choice Plan account holders selected the same 30 or so games.” This is apparent in my seat locations for some marquee games. For example, the best available for me on the second day of the season was section 430, row 12. On the third day, the tickets are for section 428, row 9. I take that scootch closer to behind-the-plate to show a few less folks picked that date.

The “worst” seats in the package, section 410, row 18, are for a potentially huge match-up — Sunday, Sept. 28, the final day of the season, versus those fucking Chicago Cubs, who figure to challenge the Crew for the division. It doesn’t take Yogi Berra to figure out that game could be the biggest in Milwaukee in the last 26 years.

If the other 20-game holders followed my logic, this is how they picked the games they wanted to attend:

  • All 13 Sunday games. Sunday morning and afternoon are the only blocks of my weekly schedule which cannot be eaten up by something else, and what is better than the ballpark, gettin’ a tan. I’m easy like Sunday morning.
  • The second game of the season. As my coworker Kyle says, this is the real Opening Day, when the true fans are still there. Along with the following Sunday and the $80 Leff’s Luckytown Opening Day Party ticket I bought, I’ll be at the Park the whole first weekend.
  • The first game Geoff Jenkins returns to Milwaukee with the Philadelphia Phillies. Jenks is a class act, and last season, when I would play MLB 2000 for N64, he was the only player still on the roster.
  • Exciting match-ups with expected contenders Atlanta Braves, Chicago Cubs, New York Mets and San Diego Padres. I also picked the Minnesota and Baltimore Interleague games (and not Toronto) because I have friends or relatives in those cities.
  • The final two games of the season against the hated Cubs.

Posh is more excited about the season after seeing more pictures of Spring Training. “A lot of these guys are really hot!!!”

How about Ryan Braun, who graces the cover of the ’08 Season Ticket Holder Handbook? Check out those forearms:


“Well, I can’t see his face,” Posh said. “… but it doesn’t matter. Yes! Done!—Hot!”


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