You’re totally going to fall in love with Guillermo Mota.
OK, I don’t know that for sure. But so far, I like him. I think. Mostly because “mota” is a Spanish-language term for marijuana, so whenever his name is announced I giggle conspiratorially like a little sixth grader.
I first became aware of Guillermo last year when he was playing for the New York Mets. I very nearly got my friend John, who finds the word “mota” similarly hilarious, a Mets jersey T-shirt for his birthday. But it didn’t make much sense last June, seeing that he played for New York, which at the time could have faced the Brewers in the playoffs (before they both, epically, collapsed).
“John, did you know there’s this set-up pitcher named Mota?”
“Yeah! And he was implicated in the baseball drug scandals.”
The irony! Guillermo is also the name of the parking lot attendant Jimmy Kimmel exploits in man-on-the-street sketches, to hilarious effect.
Imagine my delight when Mota was traded to Milwaukee for Johnny Estrada, who with 20/20 hindsight, is probably clubhouse-disrupting sack of donkey shit. Now I come to realize that when Éric Gagné was recording a record 84 consecutive saves, Mota was his set-up man. It seems to me if Gagné is going to have any success here, he’s going to need a hand from Mota. And so far, Guillermo has pitched not so bad.
Fun fact: Mota is from San Pedro de Macorís, a hotbed of baseball talent. Natives include Julio Franco, Luis Castillo, Alfonso Soriano, Sammy Sosa, fellow Brewer Salomón Torres and Johnny Cueto, the 22-year-old kid who is apparently the Next Big Thing.
You know I loves me some Dominicans.
I hope when Mota comes up to bat, his music is “Coffee Shop” by Yung Joc, from his album Hustlenomics. The song tosses out the word “mota” and is basically an extended metaphor for drug dealing from a fictional coffee shop called “Starblocks.” I find this hilarious, because I am immature, and probably a horrible person.
“You know the motto?”
“Yeah: Hustle by any means.”