If there’s one thing I hate, it’s abstinence-only sex education. If there’s one thing I love, it’s confetti explosions. Today at work I caught the end of the first-ever all-England Champions League final (Chaaamp–ions!!) which usually features some awesomely violent confetti explosions, timed to exactly when the winning team hoists the cup.
I didn’t see it today as Manchester United got the win over Chelsea. Maybe because it was raining, maybe because it was in Moscow. Who knows?
But I spent a good chunk of time looking for some confetti cannons of my own. I think I could get by with some Big Shots®, “double barrel confetti cannons which provide a one time ‘blast’ of confetti or streamers,” which only cost $1,150 each from Artistry In Motion, Inc.
If the Brewers ever win anything — and I mean anything, a league pennant or World Series would be nice, but a division title or even a wildcard would suffice — I want to see some confetti cannons in the Convertible Confines.
Or maybe I’ll just save up and put a BigBlaster™ in my backyard. Yeah. Make it rain on Miller Park’s Giants Parking Lots 1, 2 and 3.
And you know what color I will make that rain.