Keep swingin’ for the fences

I can think of no better generic autograph personalization. That’s what Prince Fielder is doing right here (he fouled it off). We also would have accepted “Keep on Kickin’” for all you Milwaukee Wave fans out there.

It’s simultaneously encouraging and arrogant, because it assumes you want nothing more than to grow up to be just like the athlete who can hit home runs over those fences. Sure, “Stay in School” might be more morally respectable, but if someone wrote that to me, I’d be like, “Dude, what a loser.” Nobody would ever write “Keep studying to be a gastroenterologist.”

(Here’s Prince, working the count to full last week against the Dodgers. Insert “he’s been seeing the ball a lot better lately” rationalization here.)

I like KSFTF because it makes me think of the blind ambition of Good Ol’ Charlie Brown, who just keeps pluggin’ along. And that is the advice I would like to offer to our dear Prince Fielder. When Ryan Braun was cold at the beginning of the season, my advice cheering went like this:

“You’re behind 0-2 in the count again, Brauny! WTF? How about you actually take a ball?”

* Braun fouls off the next eight pitches, and works the count to 3-2.

“All right, staying alive, let’s go! Payoff pitch, c’mon!”

* Braun strikes out swinging.

When Bill Hall was is cold, it goes like this:

“Bill Hall. C’mon, Bill Hall. Bill. Hall. Billy Hall.”

* Hall strikes out.

“Goddamn it, Bill Hall!”

But Prince had to endure all those chuckleheads talking about what he eats, of all things. So I’d like to extend a KSFTF to Prince Fielder. Keep on swingin,’ Big Fella.

The at-bat last Thursday ended with a grounder (pictured here) which made it through the gap for a base hit. Prince has 6 home runs so far. He’ll finish with 36 more.

Yes, I said it.


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