Great Moments in Booze-Smuggling History

Before the game on Sunday, Posh and I went to a neighborhood liquor store to pick up some libations. She happened upon a rack with three happy-looking rows of small plastic pouches.

“That’s the latest in booze-smuggling technology,” the kid at the counter said. “They come in gin, vodka and rum.”

What a time to be alive. We’ve come a long way, baby, I thought, as the kid showed us the binoculars flask the store had in stock.

“You know, for the Brewers games. You could put rum in one side and vodka in the other,” he said.

“Hmmm,” I said, raising the mock field glass to my eyes, “are they functional?”

“We’ve already sold out of our cell phone flasks,” he said.

Tools like these could have helped avoided some embarrassing mishaps, such as the time event services staff searched Bob, finding and removing six cans of beer (a whole 6-pack!) from his person.

Or the time my friend Suds entered the Kohl Center with a large Ziplock freezer bag filled with vodka, only to have it burst just as he arrived at the Grateful Red student section. He acted cool as booze soaked his pants leg and formed a puddle on the bleachers.

Of course, an easy way to avoid such scandal is to buy your drinks on the inside. We chose both paths Sunday — the straight and narrow and the crooked and broad, if you catch my meaning. The margarita stands were doing brisk business, so much that our regular flavored marg’ hadn’t fully frozen to form.

But I had the bartender toss in a few ice cubes and we were set. And if that hadn’t worked out, there was the party pouch for backup.

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One response to “Great Moments in Booze-Smuggling History

  1. Pingback: Right Field Bleachers » Blog Archive » In the News (6/2)

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