Keep swingin’ for the fences, Ryan Braun

I was at Maxie’s on Saturday, waiting for Posh to pick me up for a wedding reception. I was in a seersucker suit and she was in a pink satin number. Dressed like that (and with two flutes of champagne and a cup of gumbo), we could have been headed for some southern cotillion. Instead it was Prince Fielder who has having his own party in Atlanta.

As I was leaving the abysmal third game of the Cubs series, and impartial heckler noticed my #28 T-shirt.

“Hey Fielder! Why don’t you try hitting something!” he shouted from an SUV.

“He went 2-3 with a walk and a home run… Cracker!” I replied.

Prince stayed hot for the next three days. He only batted .333, going 4-for-12… but all four of those hits were home runs. At the bar in the 7th inning Saturday, James pointed out he had hit four homers in four days. Then came the 8th inning…

“Holy shit, James,” I said, looking for details to make sure I wasn’t watching a replay. “He hit another one.”

It’s because of streaks like these that I issued Prince a “Keep swingin’ for the fences” salutation two months ago. Tonight, he was 1-3 with a walk, but he got into an argument with Manny Parra, shoving him twice (W… t… F... !?!?).

The Brewers were down 6-3 to the Reds with two on and two outs in the bottom of the 9th. Ryan Braun was up. I’ve been down on Brauny before for getting behind in the count. But at that point, he was 2-3 with a double, a walk and a homer. That homer was his thirtieth, making him the second player to hit 30 homers in each of his first two seasons. Albert Pujols was the first. Who else would you want up there with the final out and a chance to tie it? So he struck out. He whiffed at “Coco Chanel” Cordero’s garbage. He’s still got the green light. KSFTF, Ryan Braun.

(That’s me in the batting cages, not Brauny, just in case there was any confusion).


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