Last week, I was at the mall, to buy a new set of Brewers T-shirts. I only had one jersey T-shirt in Midnight Blue with the cursive Brewers on the front, and it had Ben Sheets’ #15 on the back. 

While at the mall — I setttled on a Braun T-shirt in Midnight Blue and a Hardy T-shirt in home white — I followed Posh into a hip and happenin’ store. They had Affliction T-shirts there. And I said to myself, “Self, if I see one of these T-shirts that I really like, I’ll buy it right here on the spot.” So I looked around. And I didn’t see one — one — that I really liked. 

I want to be clear. I am the type of guy who occasionally makes bold-ish sartorial decisions. I have a pair of pink pants. I wore a seersucker suit to Maxie’s Derby Party. I wore a cardigan and a tie to first grade even though none was required. I’m not exactly Andre 3000, but I take risks, put myself out there. 

But these REMETEE and Affliction shirts — I’ve yet to see one I can get down with. 

It’s not that I don’t get it. It makes sense why someone would wear it. I just don’t see myself in it. I can’t, to paraphrase Tim Gunn, “make it work.” I have made one purchase of what could be considered a “fashion T-shirt” and that was this brand, TankFarm. It was a T-shirt, totally soft, made of microfiber or some shit. It had two crossed axes on it, sort of like this. And then underneath it, there are the words “Bold As Love.” Like the Jimi Hendrix song? “Just ask the Axis?” Just ask the Axes? Get it? Get it?!

But Brauny deserves to have his fun. He’s a SoCal guy, and let’s not pretend like we, from Southeastern Wiscompton, can understand the style and therefore culture of that region.

Right after we arrived in San Diego last year, Posh asked her friend Emily how the guys were. Emily said everyone — boys and girls — all had nice bodies, worked out, went to the beach, was tan. But the guys, she said, had this SoCal style, like they all wear black, flat-brimmed baseball caps and T-shirts, and they have these tricked out trucks and tattoos and beautiful dogs, and it kind of looks like a Good Charlotte video, except without the mascara. And she was more inclined to like, for example, the guy with the shaggy hair, stubble and polo shirt, or Patagonia fleece jacket. 

So who knows. Certainly not I. But haters wanna hate

I say, let us let Brauny have his fun.


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