Corny radio ad

The Wisconsin Corn Growers Association radio ads played prominently during Brewers broadcast is starting to grate. 

30CFC_WI_Fertilizer.mp3

The industry’s efforts in an era of giant corporate farms are commendable, and it has continued its success through many innovations, which it touts in these radio ads. Farmers use techniques such things as no-till planting, satellite technology and built-in insect resistance and the strategic importance of growing our own food, according to stories from the launch of the ad campaign

“Welcome back. We’re talking about corn and the farmers that grow it.

Cindy from Cincinati. 

Cindy: Corn takes a lot of fertilizer, right?

Less than ever! Farmers produce 70 percent more corn on a pound of fertilizer than they did just 35 years ago.”

That”s certainly an accomplishment, but to someone who doesn’t know anything about growing corn, like me, it doesn’t sound very impressive at first. I mean, you’ve improved over what you were able to do 35 years ago? That was 1974. 

Now that I’ve heard the ad many, many times, I’ve taken the time to visualize what a pound of fertilizer looks like, and what 70 percent more corn looks like, and it makes sense. 

“Dallas from Ft. Worth.”

Obviously, they’re just making up names for this short radio call-in show style advertisement, but choosing “Dallas from Ft. Worth” is confusing. Yes, Dallas can be a man’s first name, but still… it’s like saying, “Now we go to St. Paul from Minneapolis.” Or, “Welcome, St. Petersburg from Tampa, to the show.” Anyway, this is what they have “Dallas from Ft. Worth” say:

“But I’ve heard we’re going to run out of corn!”

Wait, what? I hadn’t heard that. Here’s how the mock radio show host responds.

Look, we’re feeding livestock, we’re making ethanol and we still export one out of every five rows of corn! Gotta go!

Discover how innovation is growing at cornfarmerscoalition.org. A message from the Wisconsin corn growers.” 

This is a direct, three-point response to a ridiculous question. What really grinds my gears after hearing this ad constantly during the games is just those two phrases I bolded in that transcript. Saying “Look,” before making a point seems weak to me, rhetorically speaking. I do it, everyone does it. But it somehow seems insecure, if not insincere. I feel like I remember Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld rattling off answers like that when questioned about the war. “Look, we’ve overthrown the regime, we’re securing the country and we’re still going to find the WMDs. Gotta go!”

Again, I appreciate the hard work of our nations farmers. And the ad isn’t even that bad. But I’ve heard it over, and over, and over.

I think I would have gone for sentimental like those old High Life ads.

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